Pessimism Abounds, Snowballs

I don’t know why exactly, but I’ve been feeling particularly pessimistic lately. I don’t know why, but it seems like trouble always comes in patches, doesn’t it?

It didn’t help that Moi’s mom raised a big fuss last night about the garden being on the verge of death and decay (diseased, she thought), which led me to spend a good twenty four hours fretting over what I would find.  What I did find was that the peas were doing what, I’ve learned, peas do – flower, fruit, and die. With a good crop, no less. Now I wonder if we aught to try planting a second crop. Not sure, exactly.

More then that, though, I think it’s just been a feeling lately that I’m not accomplishing anything. I say that because, well, I’m not really. Maybe it’s to do with Moi being out and about, but I’ve been pretty boring lately. I’ve even been slowing down on the posts here, for which I apologize.

I can’t say this is a new feeling, and one would expect me to be better at dealing with it then I am, but I tend to get stuck to the TV and just make myself feel worse. But enough about the problem, and on to the solution.

First, to make a list, of the things I need to do muy pronto. It probably wont be very long but I’ve always found that it’s a good way to kick yourself into action and then to feel like you’re accomplishing things (as you tick tick tick them off the list).

I think what I’m dealing with is mostly uncertainty. The summer is almost over, and I don’t know what I have done, or have left to do, or whether I’ve succeeded in the things I did. I’m not sure where I’m going to school (or where I want to go to school) and my classes aren’t set. And in the face of all of it I’m feeling just a bit overwhelmed.

So tomorrow I’ll make a list, focusing on things I need to do in the next week or so, and worry about uncertain futures when I get there.

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One Response to “Pessimism Abounds, Snowballs”

  1. Moi Says:

    Hiiiiiiii. Just a little note of encouragement and that I know you will be able to figure it all out for yourself, and that I am happy to be back home with you as always. ❤

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