Archive for the ‘Craigslist’s Worst’ Category

CRAIGSLIST’S WORST: Cleaning Women Needed, Attractive 18-30

January 11, 2008

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted a Craigslist’s Worst here, which the site’s hits stats tell me is a bad thing. So here we go!

business man is looking for a cleaning women for wekly(sic) cleaning. Must be attractive, 18-30 years old and willing to work in lingere(sic) and nude. $$$
Email photos and replies please.

I posted, or rather reposted here, a similar ad last summer for a gardening assistant who would work in a tank top and short shorts. This ad, clearly, wins for creepiness on sheer volume of nakedness, but the other, as I recall, included a line about “I like a little eye candy while I work,” so I figure that’s about a tie.

But hey! Any attractive 18-30 year olds in the CT area who have low self-esteem (and maybe some rape fantasies…) this sounds sweet! $$$, on a restaurant review site I’ve seen, means dinner is around sixty bucks. In the field of nude cleaning, wow, the sky’s the limit.

*shudder*

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ROFL. No, seriously, ROFL.

July 21, 2007

Sorry, but some things just call for a good dose of internet speak. You may remember my story about How I Beat A Craigslist Scammer (And Still Might Beat Him Worse). As a follow up to that, I present the most heavy handed and awkward attempt at backpedaling I have ever seen. No, seriously, I almost feel bad for the guy. Except not.

Hello Zack am very sorry for the delay i just wanna ask if you still have the Two Red Leather Armless Chairs w/ Ottoman  for sale course i have been on work out of the state for some time and my secetary died so that why she was not able to make the payment you can see what have gone through and everthing but i just wanna know if you still have it so i can issue the payment for you next week kindly get back as soon asps so we can proceed from there.have a lovely day..
Mr Alex.

Hmm. I really feel like I should start using “as soon asps” in business e-mails. That said, thank you Mr. Alex, I am having a very nice day.

CRAIGSLIST WORST: “Women, earn serious money kicking men”

July 12, 2007

You know, I don’t believe in The Secret or the Law of Attraction, but I was just looking through craigslist and thinking that it had been a while since I’d found a good post when up popped one. However, it was another “large sum for body rub” sort of ads, and I was happy when a second came forward as well. Here, now, one of Craigslist’s Worst:

We are doing a series of fantasy self defense videos and are looking for fit women between the ages of 19 & 40. You will be required to kick men hard. The men do not fight back.

Please send pics and a note as to why you feel you would be a good candidate.

Now, you can say it’s just because I am a man, but really, that’s hurtful. Worst, though, is my nagging suspicion that this is a new picture collecting scam for masochists. I shudder at the thought.

CRAIGSLIST’S WORST Investigates: “Can you fix them? – $1”

June 28, 2007

I realized today that I had forgotten to post anything last night (eek), so today, when an interesting ad came up on Craigslist, I felt compelled to go a step further then usual for you guys, and learned that sometimes I really need to bite my tongue. But I am getting ahead of myself. First, the ad, which, alone, is not so strange.

I am looking for someone to tune up 2 leaf blowers.
1 is a hand held craftsman that I can’t start.
1 is a echo back pack blower that starts but doesn’t run to its full patentual.
I am willing to do whatever you want to get at least 1 running correct.
I will mow your lawn, clean, give you a massage, whatever it takes to get them fixed.
email me soon. thanks.

Now, as I said, alone this is not so strange. But I noticed something here that has been bugging me about Craigslist. Why does every person in the whole world know how to give bartering-worthy massages? So I bit the bullet and asked.

Hi,

I’m not sure I can help with the leaf blowers but I had a question about your
ad. It seems like everyone on craigslist can give massages worthy of being
bartered. Is massaging a big hobby these days or is it slang for something
erotic?

Thanks,
-Curious

Now, I’m sure some of you see where this is going, but don’t jump ahead yet. Honestly, I was expecting an angry e-mail from a Hartford area masseus (pillar of the community and what not), or maybe even nothing at all. Insted, in under ten minutes…

IT COULD BE EROTIC. 🙂

Perhaps needless to say, the guy (yes, I’m sure it’s a guy, from the e-mail, which I am not releasing out of kindness) seems to have misunderstood my intent. So, call me rude, but I did the only thing I could. I responded one more time, and I think my response sums up my reaction to the whole thing.

I’m sorry I asked.

CRAIGSLIST’S WORST: “get paid to puke”

June 25, 2007

I am truly impressed that an ad not containing the words sex, sexual, nude, adult, etc. could be so disturbingly… Well, sexy to someone. Not me. But here you go anyway!

if you dont have a problem with vomiting and you are a woman you can get paid today. All you need is a camera and just have someone record or you can record it yourself. All you have to do is record yourself eating and then puking. Get paid PER scene. Do as many scenes as you want. If you are interested email me asap and you can get paid today.

Well, there you have it. Later!

CRAIGSLIST’S WORST: —-ladies need extra cash????

June 17, 2007

Ask and you shall receive. I promised not ten minutes ago to look for more craigslist’s worst after the incredible success of the last one. Kelly was all too happy to oblige!

———————–ladies need extra cash????????????????

hey im kelly

i need beautiful caucasian women…all shapes and sizes who are ready to work for an upscale and very elite business..and make a lot of extra cash..

if u are tired of the run around..and wasted calls..contact me. asap!

. u wont be dissapointed! ///////////////////////////call 2035605337

I can’t say for certain what sort of business this is, but it sure sounds shady. Before anyone claims I am just biased against the utter lack of grammar, I want to point out that the posting details at the bottom are no help at all.

  • Location: ct. loookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
  • Compensation: 1000 a`week
  • Telecommuting is ok.
  • This is a part-time job.
  • This is a contract job.
  • This is at a non-profit organization.
  • OK for recruiters to contact this job poster.
  • Please, no phone calls about this job!
  • You may contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Wow, now that is one complicated business. I especially love that you aren’t supposed to call the woman who only gave a phone number.

Well, good luck to all you beautiful Caucasian women of all shapes and sizes out there!

Split Seconds That Change Everything

June 17, 2007

It’s funny how learning a new piece of knowledge, even something really small, can in one second change everything.

Moi found out today that her weight has grown some. Now, it bears noting that this is because she has put on a good amount of muscle, and is actually more trim then she was a few months ago. As far as that goes, however, it’s worth noting that she couldn’t have felt physically any different immediately before and after stepping on the scale. her body did not change, nor her proportions. She didn’t suddenly swell in the thighs when she saw her weight.

And yet, she immediately felt fat.

I don’t want to sound like I am too good or too smart to not fall for the same thing. it happens to everyone. When I logged in write this post, I checked my blog stats and was surprised to find the line showing my stats for the last thirty days had gone from it’s typical up and down ranging to a flat line, with a single spike at the end. Until, that is, i realized what that meant.

Sens-dep had 98 unique visitors yesterday.

I have had, all told, a pretty crummy day, although I can’t put my finger on why. For the most part, I feel like it has been internal problems. The site’s success, however, instantly brightened my mood. Wow. The realization that all of that traffic came in through wordpress and technorati because of the craigslist’s worst post yesterday was only able to slightly smudge my good mood.

I realize, though, that I am just observing life and not really commenting, so I will leave you with the heartfelt wish that your next split second mood changer is for the better.  I will also say this to all those who may be lured here by the craiglist’s worst tag: I hope you have a look around and realize there is some interesting and perhaps useful stuff here besides craigslist’s worst… but also that I am looking for more sleazy posts to share with you.

Thank you and goodnight!

CRAIGSLIST’S WORST: “sensual pics”

June 16, 2007

For some reason, the extremely understated nature of this ad, especially in light of the range of meaning one could associate with sensual, gives me the heebie-jeebies.

sensual pics

looking for girls and guys for sensual photos

Good luck whoever you are!

(It is sort of funny that this comes up today; Moi realized today that I will probably have to draw naked women next year in my drawing class. She is rather depressed. Luckily for her, she should know that no pair of art-room breasts (nor wrinkly old man’s.. well, you know) could make me forget how much I love her. So quit worrying!)

CRAIGSLIST’S WORST: Premier Edition

June 3, 2007

Today I’d like to start a new feature that has nothing to do with anything except being fun. I present the first of Craigslist’s Worst, the most disturbing and ew-inducing from my local craigslist ads. Today’s comes from a local man in need of gardening help, and offering #30 an hour no less! At least he tacks that sentence on to make it seem not disgusting.

Need a girl 2 times a week for 4 hours a day to do weeding, mowing, raking, mulching, basic garden stuff. Summer job. You must be ok with wearing short-shorts and tank/tube tops. That’s it! Nothing else. I just like to have some eye-candy while I’m working on my property. Must be a good worker!

Ew.